Lost Under the Surface
by erinx319
Summary: I don’t really know what to say. A few phrases that come to mind are, I’m leaving, it’s over, find someone else to torment, but I don’t think those fully explain how you’ve made me feel inside. oneshot songfic, main character: Ryan


**Author's Note: another one shot song fic, this time a Ryan centered one! Yay for Ryan!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical, or Ryan, or the song Numb, by Linkin Park… it sucks**

Ryan's POV

I hate them! I hate them all! Sharpay, my parents, everyone. Thanks to them, I can't just be me; I have to be what they want me to be. And even after they make me conform to their wishes, it's just never good enough…

"_Ryan, we have to be perfect in this routine, practice again!"_

"_Ryan, you're such a moron!"_

"_Ryan, why do you have to be so embarrassing? I hate you!"_

And it's not just Sharpay…

"_Ryan, why can't you be more like your sister? She's perfect!"_

"_Ryan, you can't do anything right!"_

"_Ryan Stephen Evans! Sharpay told us you messed up her audition! You're grounded young man!"_

It never ends.

_**I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
feeling so faithless  
lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
put under the pressure  
of walking in your shoes**_

_**caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow   
every step that I take is another mistake to you  
**_

I've tried to tune it all out, but I just can't seem to be able to. I mean they're my family, aren't they supposed to be supportive of me? I mean my parents ignore the fact that I have straight A's in everything except English, where I have C, but what am I supposed to do about my dyslexia? And Sharpay, well, she gets C's in everything!

"_Ryan, if you don't succeed in the performing arts, you'll never make anything out of yourself!"_

"_Ryan, the theater is the only thing you have. You can't read! There's nothing else you can do in the world!"_

It's so tiring, being the target of my parent's anger and frustration all the time. I mean, Sharpay stays out late with friends, and I get blamed for not making her come home! I'm just so sick of my parents and my sister treating me this way, but it's sort of become a big part of who I am…

**_  
I've become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
I've become so tired   
so much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
all I want to do   
is be more like me  
and be less like you _**

And in school, I'm not known as Ryan, no. I'm known as the Ice King, or Sharpay's brother, or even better, Sharpay's lap dog. I mean really, I'm not sure anyone even knows my name. I'm always following Sharpay around, doing what she says, and basically hiding in the shadows of everything, except when I'm on stage of course. Then I'm under the rule of Sharpay the dictator…**__**

can't you see that you're smothering me  
holding too tightly  
afraid to lose control  
cause everything that you thought I would be  
has fallen apart right in front of you  
caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
every step that I take is another mistake to you 

_**caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
and every second I waste is more than I can take**_

No, it never ends. And it never will end! I just can't take it anymore. I've gotta get out of here!****I'm leaving tonight, and they can't stop me. Sharpay is out with friends, and mom and dad are out at dinner. I'm home alone, and I'm going. **_  
_**

**_I've   
become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
become so tired  
so much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
all I want to do  
is be more like me  
and be less like you  
_**I'll make my way California. Maybe I'll pursue acting, maybe I won't, but I'm not going to sit down and let them treat me this way anymore. After seventeen long years, I'm taking a stand…

_**  
but I know  
I may end up failing too  
but I know  
you were just like me  
with someone disappointed in you**_

Sharpay's POV

'Ryan better be ready to practice with me' I thought as I glanced at my watch. Eh, 10:30 isn't too late.

I opened the door and walked in. "Ryan!" I called out. No answer… that's strange.

I walked into the dining room and found a note on the table.

To my family,

I don't really know what to say. A few phrases that come to mind are, I'm leaving, it's over, find someone else to torment, but I don't think those fully explain how you've made me feel inside. I'm not good enough for you. I've never been good enough. So I'm gone, I've left, run away. See you in another life…

Ryan

_**I've  
become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
become so tired  
so much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
all I want to do  
is be more like me  
and be less like you  
**_

**Author's Note: okay so there it is… reviews would be appreciated, flames would not! **


End file.
